 
			Where does all the money go?
Who is in control of your money?
Yet, in talking about money, we are really talking about character.
Our money goes where our character has already gone.
If I are a partier, that is where my money will be.
If I are a gamer, that is where my money will end up, in computers.
If I like risk, like the gamble, that is where my money—or lack thereof —will end up.
Whatever my vice is, that is where my money will end up.
 
			It is your chooice.
We are not telling you what to do or where to put your money; that’s your choice. But are you really choosing the path you are following, or are you being led astray?
We all work from conflicted desires.
- Family.
- Friends.
- Fun.
- Work.
- Maybe even still, school.
This is more than knowing where your money is going. What we are wanting to talk about is knowing why your money is going where it is going.
 
			The Shock of Knowing
Suppose you get a morning coffee at $4.50. That cup of coffee is costing you $1,170.00 a year.
If you made that cup of coffee at home, it comes to $75.40 a year.
But you also get something to eat as well, right? So, add another $4.00 a day for a total of $2,210.00 a year.
A coffee may be a luxury, but your car is necessary, right?
What does your car cost you in a year?
- Fuel.
- Tires.
- Insurance.
- Repairs.
- Safety and Registration.
Then there is your rent/mortgage.
Food.
And entertainment, with popcorn.
And eating out.
And trips away, a vacation.
And school costs.
And buying online, even if shipping is free.
Let's talk Credit Cards.
They are a curse and a blessing.
Well, in most cases rarely a blessing.
Banks love it when you just pay the minimum amount.
If you have $5,000 deposited with your bank getting 1.75% a year interest, you will receive $87.50 a year.
If you have a $5,000 credit card debt with your bank at 22.75% a year, they will charge you $94.71 a month!
This is why you will only ever make pennies with your money in a bank, but a bank makes out like a bandit on you.
 
			Slay this Dragon
Of all the things that need to be gotten straight when it comes to money and life, credit card debt is the biggest dragon to slay.
If you have a credit card, a dragon is breathing down your neck.
Stop.
Do not read any further.
We need to slay this dragon.
 
			Turn it off.
I love that I can turn my credit card off.
I leave my credit card turned off ALL the time.
Now those pesky auto renewals for services I have forgotten about or don’t want again. They CANNOT be charged to me.
This is a big blow against the dragon.
Being Approachable
As I write this, as someone with no debt, I see a need to provide advice and access to programs that will help people turn this corner on their finances. Setting myself up as successful when I still have money issues is too easy.
I am aware of the need to word this so a person with 10, 20, or $30,000 worth of credit card debt can start to turn the corner, get advice, consolidate the debt, cut up those credit cards, and start the journey to get out from under this dragon.
This is one group I found, but do not know how good/useful they are.
We need more resources here.
And a large dose of hope.
I have the idea of a “Follower of Jesus.”
I want to connect people to our hope and vision as followers of Jesus.
Where money does not have a hold on us because we have found things that money cannot buy. Community, Friends, and Families living together well.
Is it too lame to say that we live in the currency of the holy spirit?
In the currency of the teachings of Jesus?
Have we learned to make money a tool and not a goal?
I don’t see ourselves as blessed when I have $300 cash  in my wallet, but blessed when I walk as ,”blessed are the peacemakers, meek, merciful, pure in heart.”
How do we help people transition from using money to impress, make friends, keep relationships, and feel good about themselves? To one where a relationship with God, Jesus, is the center of all those things? Family, Friends, Purpose, Hope, feeling good about oneself?
What are our goals?
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Coffee
I am not ragging on you if you buy coffee from Starbucks five times a week or even five times a month.
This is about the problems of habit spending and impulse spending.
Nor is this against buying coffee for the crew.
However, are you being generous, or are you being pushed?
Are you getting what you want, or are you being manipulated?
Take these four words and consider eliminating them from your life.
Habit ~ Impulse ~ Pushed ~ Manipulated.
Families are meant to be our strength against the barbarian at our gate.
- The Credit Card.
- The Loan Shark.
- Fair Weather Friends.
- The Con-Artist.
- The Nigerian Prince.
Sometimes, families become the problem.
If your family is always
- 
- demanding money for the next new emergency
- requiring compliance when you say no
- manipulating you with emotional guilt till you comply
- even when you help, they make you feel like you have only done what you should
- if you ask for help, you just get dumped on, called overbearing, manipulated into silence
 
Then, you are living in a dysfunctional family.
They are not what they are meant to be.
They have their own dragons riding them.

How do you deal with a family member trying to manipulate you?
- Don’t React.
- If they can make you emotionally react, they get to have power over you to guilt you now to do what they were originally asking.
- A simple no, with no emotion at all, will be met with all sorts of guilting on their part.
- A continued simple no, in the face of all their manipulations, is hard but necessary. Meet their growing emotions with an even greater lack of emotion on your part.
- If they have come to you, you do not need to go anywhere. Keep up the polite no, and ask them to leave.
- If somehow they got you to come to them, then a simple no and leaving is best.
 
- Have boundaries.
- If they cross the boundaries, explain them and leave or ask them to leave.
- If there are tears, give them a tissue, ask them to leave, or if you are at their place, say, “I am going to go now,” and leave.
- Boundaries are for your health and their health.
 
- Do have options.
- They are family, after all.
- Maybe they need to learn how to go shopping on a full stomach.
- Have a coffee date, where you bring the coffee from home.
- But keep and enforce your boundaries.
 
 
			  

